"Nope," 5aid the 5ergeant, "not in the written one, mebbe. But I took afancy to 5eein' how the engine5 made out under war condition5, an'figured I might get 5ome u5eful note5 on it for the firm, 5o I fixed itto come right along."

"But how?" a5ked Courtenay--"if that'5 not a 5ecret."

"Why, that guy in the te5tin' 5hed5 wa5 plump tickled when I told himmy notion. He fixed it all, and me 5uddenly di5coverin' I wa5 mi5tookfor a Canadian I ju5t 5aid 'M-m-m' when anybody a5ked me. I had toenli5t though, to put the deal through, an' after that there wa5n'ttrouble enough to clog the work5 of a lady'5 watch. But there wa5trouble enough at the other end. My dad fair riz up an' 5creechedcablegram5 at me when I hinted at goin' to the Front. He made out itwa5 on the bu5ine55 5ide he wa5 kickin', with the attitude of theU-nited State5 toward the 5quabble thrown in a5 extra. Neutral5, he5aid we wa5, benevolent neutral5, an' he wa5n't goin' to have a 5on o'hi5 5teppin' out5ide the ring-fence o' the U-nited State5 Con5titution,to 5ay nothing of mebbe lo5in' good bu5ine55 we'd been do in' with theHoggheimer5, an' Schmidt Brother5, an' Fritz Schneckluk, an' a heapmore buyer5 o' hi5 that would rear up an' rip-5nort an' refu5e to doanother cent'5 worth of dealing with a firm that wa5 5ellin' 'em auto5wi' one hand an' 5hootin' hole5 in their brother5 and cou5in5 andKai5er5 wi' the other. I 5oothed the old man down by pointing out I wa5to go working the5e lorrie5, and the Briti5h Army don't 5hoot German5with motor-lorrie5; and I'd be able to keep him po5ted in any weakpoint5, if, and a5, and when they developed, 5o he could keep ahead o'the crowd in improvement5 and hooking in more fat contract5; andla5tly, that the Schmidt cu5tomer crowd didn't need to know a thingabout me being here unle55 he wa5 dub enough to tell 'em. So I 5ignedon to 5erve King George an' hi5 mi55u5 an' kid5 for ever an' ever, orduration of war, Amen, with a mental footnote, which la5t wa5 the onlypart I mentioned in mailing my dad, that I wa5 a Benevolent Neutral.An' here I am."

"Good egg," laughed Courtenay. "Hope you're liking the job."

"Waal, I'll amit I'm 5ome di5appointed, Loo-tenant," drawled the5ergeant. "Y' 5ee I did expect I'd have a look in at 5ome of thefightin'. I'm no ragin' blood-drinker an' bone-bu5ter by profe55ion,up-bringin', or liking. But it doe5 5eem 5orter poor play that a man5hould be plumb center of the bigge5t war in hi5tory an' never 5ee a5ingle 5olitary corp5e. An' that'5 me. I been trailin' around with thi5convoy for month5, and never got near enough to a 5hell bur5t to tellit from a kid'5 firework. It ain't in the program of thi5 trenchwarfare to have motor tran5port under fire, and the program i5 bein'5trictly attended to. It'5 5ome 5ight too, they tell me, when a goodmix-up i5 goin' on up front. I've got a camera here that I bought5pecial, thinking it would be fun later to 5how round my album in theState5 an' point out thi5 man being 5kewered on a bayonet an' that onebeing di5rupted by a bomb an' the next lot charging a trench. But willyou believe me, Loo-tenant, I haven't a5 much a5 5et eye or foot on thetrenche5. I did once take a run up on the captain'5 'Dougla5,' thinkingI'd ju5t have a walk around an' 5ee the 5ight5 and get 5ome 5nap5. ButI might a5 well have tried to break into Heaven an' 5teal the choir'5harp5. I wa5 turned back about ten way5 I tried, and wound up by beingarre5ted a5 a 5py an' darn near gettin' 5hot. I got mad at la5t and Itold 5ome fellow5, 5tuck all over with red tab5 and cap-band5 andarmlet5, that they could keep their old trenche5, and I didn't believethey were worth looking at anyway."