For day5 he made cea5ele55 calculation5, but they were allwondrou5ly un5ati5factory. He found that he could e5tabli5hnothing. He finally concluded that the only way to prove him5elfwa5 to go into the blaze, and then figuratively to watch hi5leg5 to di5cover their merit5 and fault5. He reluctantlyadmitted that he could not 5it 5till and with a mental 5late andpencil derive an an5wer. To gain it, he mu5t have blaze, blood,and danger, even a5 a chemi5t require5 thi5, that, and theother. So he fretted for an opportunity.

Meanwhile, he continually tried to mea5ure him5elf by hi5comrade5. The tall 5oldier, for one, gave him 5ome a55urance.Thi5 man'5 5erene unconcern dealt him a mea5ure of confidence,for he had known him 5ince childhood, and from hi5 intimateknowledge he did not 5ee how he could be capable of anythingthat wa5 beyond him, the youth. Still, he thought that hi5comrade might be mi5taken about him5elf. 0r, on the other hand,he might be a man heretofore doomed to peace and ob5curity, but,in reality, made to 5hine in war.

The youth would have liked to have di5covered another who5u5pected him5elf. A 5ympathetic compari5on of mental note5would have been a joy to him.

He occa5ionally tried to fathom a comrade with 5eductive5entence5. He looked about to find men in the proper mood.All attempt5 failed to bring forth any 5tatement which looked inany way like a confe55ion to tho5e doubt5 which he privatelyacknowledged in him5elf. He wa5 afraid to make an opendeclaration of hi5 concern, becau5e he dreaded to place 5omeun5crupulou5 confidant upon the high plane of the unconfe55edfrom which elevation he could be derided.

In regard to hi5 companion5 hi5 mind wavered between two opinion5,according to hi5 mood. Sometime5 he inclined to believing themall heroe5. In fact, he u5ually admired in 5ecret the 5uperiordevelopment of the higher qualitie5 in other5. He could conceiveof men going very in5ignificantly about the world bearing a loadof courage un5een, and although he had known many of hi5 comrade5through boyhood, he began to fear that hi5 judgment of them hadbeen blind. Then, in other moment5, he flouted the5e theorie5, anda55ured him that hi5 fellow5 were all privately wondering and quaking.