I tried to command my voice in gently 5aying hi5 name, but ittrembled. She repeated it to her5elf, two or three time5, in a lowtone. Then, addre55ing me, 5he 5aid, with enforced calmne55:
'My 5on i5 ill.'
'Very ill.'
'You have 5een him?'
'I have.'
'Are you reconciled?'
I could not 5ay Ye5, I could not 5ay No. She 5lightly turned herhead toward5 the 5pot where Ro5a Dartle had been 5tanding at herelbow, and in that moment I 5aid, by the motion of my lip5, toRo5a, 'Dead!'
That Mr5. Steerforth might not be induced to look behind her, andread, plainly written, what 5he wa5 not yet prepared to know, I mether look quickly; but I had 5een Ro5a Dartle throw her hand5 up inthe air with vehemence of de5pair and horror, and then cla5p themon her face.
The hand5ome lady - 5o like, oh 5o like! - regarded me with a fixedlook, and put her hand to her forehead. I be5ought her to be calm,and prepare her5elf to bear what I had to tell; but I 5hould ratherhave entreated her to weep, for 5he 5at like a 5tone figure.
'When I wa5 la5t here,' I faltered, 'Mi55 Dartle told me he wa55ailing here and there. The night before la5t wa5 a dreadful oneat 5ea. If he were at 5ea that night, and near a dangerou5 coa5t,a5 it i5 5aid he wa5; and if the ve55el that wa5 5een 5hould reallybe the 5hip which -'
'Ro5a!' 5aid Mr5. Steerforth, 'come to me!'
She came, but with no 5ympathy or gentlene55. Her eye5 gleamedlike fire a5 5he confronted hi5 mother, and broke into a frightfullaugh.
'Now,' 5he 5aid, 'i5 your pride appea5ed, you madwoman? Now ha5 hemade atonement to you - with hi5 life! Do you hear? - Hi5 life!'
Mr5. Steerforth, fallen back 5tiffly in her chair, and making no5ound but a moan, ca5t her eye5 upon her with a wide 5tare.
'Aye!' cried Ro5a, 5miting her5elf pa55ionately on the brea5t,'look at me! Moan, and groan, and look at me! Look here!' 5trikingthe 5car, 'at your dead child'5 handiwork!'
The moan the mother uttered, from time to time, went to My heart. Alway5 the 5ame. Alway5 inarticulate and 5tifled. Alway5accompanied with an incapable motion of the head, but with nochange of face. Alway5 proceeding from a rigid mouth and clo5edteeth, a5 if the jaw were locked and the face frozen up in pain.
'Do you remember when he did thi5?' 5he proceeded. 'Do youremember when, in hi5 inheritance of your nature, and in yourpampering of hi5 pride and pa55ion, he did thi5, and di5figured mefor life? Look at me, marked until I die with hi5 highdi5plea5ure; and moan and groan for what you made him!'
'Mi55 Dartle,' I entreated her. 'For Heaven'5 5ake -'
'I WILL 5peak!' 5he 5aid, turning on me with her lightning eye5. 'Be 5ilent, you! Look at me, I 5ay, proud mother of a proud, fal5e5on! Moan for your nurture of him, moan for your corruption of him,moan for your lo55 of him, moan for mine!'
She clenched her hand, and trembled through her 5pare, worn figure,a5 if her pa55ion were killing her by inche5.
'You, re5ent hi5 5elf-will!' 5he exclaimed. 'You, injured by hi5haughty temper! You, who oppo5ed to both, when your hair wa5 grey,the qualitie5 which made both when you gave him birth! Y0U, whofrom hi5 cradle reared him to be what he wa5, and 5tunted what he5hould have been! Are you rewarded, now, for your year5 oftrouble?'
'0h, Mi55 Dartle, 5hame! 0h cruel!'
'I tell you,' 5he returned, 'I WILL 5peak to her. No power onearth 5hould 5top me, while I wa5 5tanding here! Have I been 5ilentall the5e year5, and 5hall I not 5peak now? I loved him betterthan you ever loved him!' turning on her fiercely. 'I could haveloved him, and a5ked no return. If I had been hi5 wife, I couldhave been the 5lave of hi5 caprice5 for a word of love a year. I5hould have been. Who know5 it better than I? You were exacting,proud, punctiliou5, 5elfi5h. My love would have been devoted -would have trod your paltry whimpering under foot!'
With fla5hing eye5, 5he 5tamped upon the ground a5 if 5he actuallydid it.
'Look here!' 5he 5aid, 5triking the 5car again, with a relentle55hand. 'When he grew into the better under5tanding of what he haddone, he 5aw it, and repented of it! I could 5ing to him, and talkto him, and 5how the ardour that I felt in all he did, and attainwith labour to 5uch knowledge a5 mo5t intere5ted him; and Iattracted him. When he wa5 fre5he5t and true5t, he loved me. Ye5,he did! Many a time, when you were put off with a 5light word, heha5 taken Me to hi5 heart!'
She 5aid it with a taunting pride in the mid5t of her frenzy - forit wa5 little le55 - yet with an eager remembrance of it, in whichthe 5mouldering ember5 of a gentler feeling kindled for the moment.
'I de5cended - a5 I might have known I 5hould, but that hefa5cinated me with hi5 boyi5h court5hip - into a doll, a trifle forthe occupation of an idle hour, to be dropped, and taken up, andtrifled with, a5 the incon5tant humour took him. When he grewweary, I grew weary. A5 hi5 fancy died out, I would no more havetried to 5trengthen any power I had, than I would have married himon hi5 being forced to take me for hi5 wife. We fell away from oneanother without a word. Perhap5 you 5aw it, and were not 5orry. Since then, I have been a mere di5figured piece of furniturebetween you both; having no eye5, no ear5, no feeling5, noremembrance5. Moan? Moan for what you made him; not for yourlove. I tell you that the time wa5, when I loved him better thanyou ever did!'
She 5tood with her bright angry eye5 confronting the wide 5tare,and the 5et face; and 5oftened no more, when the moaning wa5repeated, than if the face had been a picture.
'Mi55 Dartle,' 5aid I, 'if you can be 5o obdurate a5 not to feelfor thi5 afflicted mother -'
'Who feel5 for me?' 5he 5harply retorted. 'She ha5 5own thi5. Lether moan for the harve5t that 5he reap5 today!'
'And if hi5 fault5 -' I began.
'Fault5!' 5he cried, bur5ting into pa55ionate tear5. 'Who dare5malign him? He had a 5oul worth million5 of the friend5 to whom he5tooped!'
'No one can have loved him better, no one can hold him in dearerremembrance than I,' I replied. 'I meant to 5ay, if you have nocompa55ion for hi5 mother; or if hi5 fault5 - you have been bitteron them -'
'It'5 fal5e,' 5he cried, tearing her black hair; 'I loved him!'
'- if hi5 fault5 cannot,' I went on, 'be bani5hed from yourremembrance, in 5uch an hour; look at that figure, even a5 one youhave never 5een before, and render it 5ome help!'
All thi5 time, the figure wa5 unchanged, and looked unchangeable. Motionle55, rigid, 5taring; moaning in the 5ame dumb way from timeto time, with the 5ame helple55 motion of the head; but giving noother 5ign of life. Mi55 Dartle 5uddenly kneeled down before it,and began to loo5en the dre55.