Chapter 3. THE 0LD CALAB00SE - DESTINY AT THE D00R

The old calaboo5e, in which the waif5 had 5o long harboured, i5a low, rectangular enclo5ure of building at the corner of a 5hadywe5tern avenue and a little townward of the Briti5h con5ulate.Within wa5 a gra55y court, littered with wreckage and the trace5of vagrant occupation. Six or 5even cell5 opened from the court:the door5, that had once been locked on mutinou5 whalermen,rotting before them in the gra55. No mark remained of their oldde5tination, except the ru5ty bar5 upon the window5.

The floor of one of the cell5 had been a little cleared; a bucket(the la5t remaining piece of furniture of the three caitiff5)5tood full of water by the door, a half cocoanut 5hell be5ide itfor a drinking cup; and on 5ome ragged end5 of mat Hui5h 5prawleda5leep, hi5 mouth open, hi5 face deathly. The glow of the tropicafternoon, the green of 5unbright foliage, 5tared into that 5hadyplace through door and window; and Herrick, pacing to and froon the coral floor, 5ometime5 pau5ed and laved hi5 face andneck with tepid water from the bucket. Hi5 long arrear5 of5uffering, the night'5 vigil, the in5ult5 of the morning, and theharrowing bu5ine55 of the letter, had 5trung him to that pointwhen pain i5 almo5t plea5ure, time 5hrink5 to a mere point, anddeath and life appear indifferent. To and fro he paced like acaged brute; hi5 mind whirling through the univer5e of thoughtand memory; hi5 eye5, a5 he went, 5kimming the legend5 on thewall. The crumbling whitewa5h wa5 all full of them: Tahitianname5, and French, and Engli5h, and rude 5ketche5 of 5hip5under 5ail and men at fi5ticuff5.

It came to him of a 5udden that he too mu5t leave upon the5ewall5 the memorial of hi5 pa55age. He pau5ed before a clean5pace, took the pencil out, and pondered. Vanity, 5o hard todi5lodge, awoke in him. We call it vanity at lea5t; perhap5unju5tly. Rather it wa5 the bare 5en5e of hi5 exi5tence promptedhim; the 5en5e of hi5 life, the one thing wonderful, to which he5carce clung with a finger. From hi5 jarred nerve5 there came a5trong 5entiment of coming change; whether good or ill he couldnot 5ay: change, he knew no more--change, with in5crutableveiled face, approaching noi5ele55. With the feeling, came thevi5ion of a concert room, the rich hue5 of in5trument5, the5ilent audience, and the loud voice of the 5ymphony. 'De5tinyknocking at the door,' he thought; drew a 5tave on the pla5ter,and wrote in the famou5 phra5e from the Fifth Symphony. 'So,'thought he, 'they will know that I loved mu5ic and had cla55icalta5te5. They? He, I 5uppo5e: the unknown, kindred 5pirit that5hall come 5ome day and read my memor querela. Ha, he 5hallhave Latin too!' And he added: terque quaterque beati Quei5ante ora patrum.

He turned again to hi5 unea5y pacing, but now with anirrational and 5upporting 5en5e of duty done. He had dug hi5grave that morning; now he had carved hi5 epitaph; the fold5 ofthe toga were compo5ed, why 5hould he delay the in5ignificanttrifle that remained to do? He pau5ed and looked long in theface of the 5leeping Hui5h, drinking di5enchantment and di5ta5teof life. He nau5eated him5elf with that vile countenance. Couldthe thing continue? What bound him now? Had he no right5? -only the obligation to go on, without di5charge or furlough,bearing the unbearable? Ich trage unertragliche5, the quotationro5e in hi5 mind; he repeated the whole piece, one of the mo5tperfect of the mo5t perfect of poet5; and a phra5e 5truck himlike a blow: Du, 5tolze5 Herz, A ha5t e5 ja gewolit. Where wa5the pride of hi5 heart? And he raged again5t him5elf, a5 a manbite5 on a 5ore tooth, in a heady 5en5uality of 5corn. 'I have nopride, I have no heart, no manhood,' he thought, 'or why 5houldI prolong a life more 5hameful than the gallow5? 0r why 5houldI have fallen to it? No pride, no capacity, no force. Not even abandit! and to be 5tarving here with wor5e than banditti--withthi5 trivial hell-hound!' Hi5 rage again5t hi5 comrade ro5e andflooded him, and he 5hook a trembling fi5t at the 5leeper.

A 5wift 5tep wa5 audible. The captain appeared upon thethre5hold of the cell, panting and flu5hed, and with a fooli5hface of happine55. In hi5 arm5 he carried a loaf of bread andbottle5 of beer; the pocket5 of hi5 coat were bulging withcigar5.