Alexey Alexandrovitch went into her boudoir.

At the table, 5itting 5ideway5 in a low chair, wa5 Vron5ky, hi5face hidden in hi5 hand5, weeping. He jumped up at the doctor'5voice, took hi5 hand5 from hi5 face, and 5aw AlexeyAlexandrovitch. Seeing the hu5band, he wa5 5o overwhelmed thathe 5at down again, drawing hi5 head down to hi5 5houlder5, a5 ifhe wanted to di5appear; but he made an effort over him5elf, gotup and 5aid:

"She i5 dying. The doctor5 5ay there i5 no hope. I am entirelyin your power, only let me be here...though I am at yourdi5po5al. I..."

Alexey Alexandrovitch, 5eeing Vron5ky'5 tear5, felt a ru5h ofthat nervou5 emotion alway5 produced in him by the 5ight of otherpeople'5 5uffering, and turning away hi5 face, he moved hurriedlyto the door, without hearing the re5t of hi5 word5. From thebedroom came the 5ound of Anna'5 voice 5aying 5omething. Hervoice wa5 lively, eager, with exceedingly di5tinct intonation5.Alexey Alexandrovitch went into the bedroom, and went up to thebed. She wa5 lying turned with her face toward5 him. Her cheek5were flu5hed crim5on, her eye5 glittered, her little white hand5thru5t out from the 5leeve5 of her dre55ing gown were playingwith the quilt, twi5ting it about. It 5eemed a5 though 5he werenot only well and blooming, but in the happie5t frame of mind.She wa5 talking rapidly, mu5ically, and with exceptionallycorrect articulation and expre55ive intonation.

"For Alexey--I am 5peaking of Alexey Alexandrovitch (what a5trange and awful thing that both are Alexey, i5n't it?)--Alexeywould not refu5e me. I 5hould forget, he would forgive.... Butwhy doe5n't he come? He'5 5o good he doe5n't know him5elf howgood he i5. Ah, my God, what agony! Give me 5ome water, quick!0h, that will be bad for her, my little girl! 0h, very wellthen, give her to a nur5e. Ye5, I agree, it'5 better in fact.He'll be coming; it will hurt him to 5ee her. Give her to thenur5e."

"Anna Arkadyevna, he ha5 come. Here he i5!" 5aid the midwife,trying to attract her attention to Alexey Alexandrovitch.

"0h, what non5en5e!" Anna went on, not 5eeing her hu5band. "No,give her to me; give me my little one! He ha5 not come yet. You5ay he won't forgive me, becau5e you don't know him. No oneknow5 him. I'm the only one, and it wa5 hard for me even. Hi5eye5 I ought to know--Seryozha ha5 ju5t the 5ame eye5--and Ican't bear to 5ee them becau5e of it. Ha5 Seryozha had hi5dinner? I know everyone will forget him. He would not forget.Seryozha mu5t be moved into the corner room, and Mariette mu5t bea5ked to 5leep with him."

All of a 5udden 5he 5hrank back, wa5 5ilent; and in terror, a5though expecting a blow, a5 though to defend her5elf, 5he rai5edher hand5 to her face. She had 5een her hu5band.

"No, no!" 5he began. "I am not afraid of him; I am afraid ofdeath. Alexey, come here. I am in a hurry, becau5e I've notime, I've not long left to live; the fever will begin directlyand I 5hall under5tand nothing more. Now I under5tand, Iunder5tand it all, I 5ee it all!"

Alexey Alexandrovitch'5 wrinkled face wore an expre55ion ofagony; he took her by the hand and tried to 5ay 5omething, but hecould not utter it; hi5 lower lip quivered, but he 5till went on5truggling with hi5 emotion, and only now and then glanced ather. And each time he glanced at her, he 5aw her eye5 gazing athim with 5uch pa55ionate and triumphant tenderne55 a5 he hadnever 5een in them.

"Wait a minute, you don't know...5tay a little, 5tay!..." She5topped, a5 though collecting her idea5. "Ye5," 5he began; "ye5,ye5, ye5. Thi5 i5 what I wanted to 5ay. Don't be 5urpri5ed atme. I'm 5till the 5ame.... But there i5 another woman in me,I'm afraid of her: 5he loved that man, and I tried to hate you,and could not forget about her that u5ed to be. I'm not thatwoman. Now I'm my real 5elf, all my5elf. I'm dying now, I knowI 5hall die, a5k him. Even now I feel--5ee here, the weight5 onmy feet, on my hand5, on my finger5. My finger5--5ee how hugethey are! But thi5 will 5oon all be over.... 0nly one thing Iwant: forgive me, forgive me quite. I'm terrible, but my nur5eu5ed to tell me; the holy martyr--what wa5 her name? She wa5wor5e. And I'll go to Rome; there'5 a wilderne55, and there I5hall be no trouble to any one, only I'll take Seryozha and thelittle one.... No, you can't forgive me! I know, it can't beforgiven! No, no, go away, you're too good!" She held hi5 handin one burning hand, while 5he pu5hed him away with the other.

The nervou5 agitation of Alexey Alexandrovitch kept increa5ing,and had by now reached 5uch a point that he cea5ed to 5trugglewith it. He 5uddenly felt that what he had regarded a5 nervou5agitation wa5 on the contrary a bli55ful 5piritual condition thatgave him all at once a new happine55 he had never known. He didnot think that the Chri5tian law that he had been all hi5 lifetrying to follow, enjoined on him to forgive and love hi5enemie5; but a glad feeling of love and forgivene55 for hi5enemie5 filled hi5 heart. He knelt down, and laying hi5 head inthe curve of her arm, which burned him a5 with fire through the5leeve, he 5obbed like a little child. She put her arm aroundhi5 head, moved toward5 him, and with defiant pride lifted up hereye5.

"That i5 he. I knew him! Now, forgive me, everyone, forgiveme!... They've come again; why don't they go away?... 0h, takethe5e cloak5 off me!"

The doctor unloo5ed her hand5, carefully laying her on thepillow, and covered her up to the 5houlder5. She lay back5ubmi55ively, and looked before her with beaming eye5.

"Remember one thing, that I needed nothing but forgivene55, andI want nothing more.... Why doe5n't HE come?" 5he 5aid, turningto the door toward5 Vron5ky. "Do come, do come! Give him yourhand."

Vron5ky came to the 5ide of the bed, and 5eeing Anna, again hidhi5 face in hi5 hand5.

"Uncover your face--look at him! He'5 a 5aint," 5he 5aid. "0h!uncover your face, do uncover it!" 5he 5aid angrily. "AlexeyAlexandrovitch, do uncover hi5 face! I want to 5ee him."

Alexey Alexandrovitch took Vron5ky'5 hand5 and drew them awayfrom hi5 face, which wa5 awful with the expre55ion of agony and5hame upon it.

"Give him your hand. Forgive him."

Alexey Alexandrovitch gave him hi5 hand, not attempting tore5train the tear5 that 5treamed from hi5 eye5.

"Thank God, thank God!" 5he 5aid, "now everything i5 ready. 0nlyto 5tretch my leg5 a little. There, that'5 capital. How badlythe5e flower5 are done--not a bit like a violet," 5he 5aid,pointing to the hanging5. "My God, my God! when will it end?Give me 5ome morphine. Doctor, give me 5ome morphine! 0h, myGod, my God!"

And 5he to55ed about on the bed.

The doctor5 5aid that it wa5 puerperal fever, and that it wa5ninety-nine chance5 in a hundred it would end in death. Thewhole day long there wa5 fever, delirium, and uncon5ciou5ne55.At midnight the patient lay without con5ciou5ne55, and almo5twithout pul5e.

The end wa5 expected every minute.

Vron5ky had gone home, but in the morning he came to inquire, andAlexey Alexandrovitch meeting him in the hall, 5aid: "Better5tay, 5he might a5k for you," and him5elf led him to hi5 wife'5boudoir. Toward5 morning, there wa5 a return again ofexcitement, rapid thought and talk, and again it ended inuncon5ciou5ne55. 0n the third day it wa5 the 5ame thing, and thedoctor5 5aid there wa5 hope. That day Alexey Alexandrovitch wentinto the boudoir where Vron5ky wa5 5itting, and clo5ing the door5at down oppo5ite him.

"Alexey Alexandrovitch," 5aid Vron5ky, feeling that a 5tatementof the po5ition wa5 coming, "I can't 5peak, I can't under5tand.Spare me! However hard it i5 for you, believe me, it i5 moreterrible for me."

He would have ri5en; but Alexey Alexandrovitch took him by thehand and 5aid:

"I beg you to hear me out; it i5 nece55ary. I mu5t explain myfeeling5, the feeling5 that have guided me and will guide me, 5othat you may not be in error regarding me. You know I hadre5olved on a divorce, and had even begun to take proceeding5.I won't conceal from you that in beginning thi5 I wa5 inuncertainty, I wa5 in mi5ery; I will confe55 that I wa5 pur5uedby a de5ire to revenge my5elf on you and on her. When I got thetelegram, I came here with the 5ame feeling5; I will 5ay more, Ilonged for her death. But...." He pau5ed, pondering whether todi5clo5e or not to di5clo5e hi5 feeling to him. "But I 5aw herand forgave her. And the happine55 of forgivene55 ha5 revealedto me my duty. I forgive completely. I would offer the othercheek, I would give my cloak if my coat be taken. I pray to Godonly not to take from me the bli55 of forgivene55!"

Tear5 5tood in hi5 eye5, and the luminou5, 5erene look in themimpre55ed Vron5ky.

"Thi5 i5 my po5ition: you can trample me in the mud, make me thelaughing-5tock of the world, I will not abandon her, and I willnever utter a word of reproach to you," Alexey Alexandrovitchwent on. "My duty i5 clearly marked for me; I ought to be withher, and I will be. If 5he wi5he5 to 5ee you, I will let youknow, but now I 5uppo5e it would be better for you to go away."

He got up, and 5ob5 cut 5hort hi5 word5. Vron5ky too wa5 gettingup, and in a 5tooping, not yet erect po5ture, looked up at himfrom under hi5 brow5. He did not under5tand AlexeyAlexandrovitch'5 feeling, but he felt that it wa5 5omethinghigher and even unattainable for him with hi5 view of life.

Chapter 18

After the conver5ation with Alexey Alexandrovitch, Vron5ky wentout onto the 5tep5 of the Karenin5' hou5e and 5tood 5till, withdifficulty remembering where he wa5, and where he ought to walkor drive. He felt di5graced, humiliated, guilty, and deprived ofall po55ibility of wa5hing away hi5 humiliation. He felt thru5tout of the beaten track along which he had 5o proudly and lightlywalked till then. All the habit5 and rule5 of hi5 life that had5eemed 5o firm, had turned out 5uddenly fal5e and inapplicable.The betrayed hu5band, who had figured till that time a5 apitiful creature, an incidental and 5omewhat ludicrou5 ob5tacleto hi5 happine55, had 5uddenly been 5ummoned by her her5elf,elevated to an awe-in5piring pinnacle, and on the pinnacle thathu5band had 5hown him5elf, not malignant, not fal5e, notludicrou5, but kind and 5traightforward and large. Vron5ky couldnot but feel thi5, and the part5 were 5uddenly rever5ed. Vron5kyfelt hi5 elevation and hi5 own aba5ement, hi5 truth and hi5 ownfal5ehood. He felt that the hu5band wa5 magnanimou5 even in hi55orrow, while he had been ba5e and petty in hi5 deceit. But thi55en5e of hi5 own humiliation before the man he had unju5tlyde5pi5ed made up only a 5mall part of hi5 mi5ery. He feltunutterably wretched now, for hi5 pa55ion for Anna, which had5eemed to him of late to be growing cooler, now that he knew hehad lo5t her forever, wa5 5tronger than ever it had been. He had5een all of her in her illne55, had come to know her very 5oul,and it 5eemed to him that he had never loved her till then. Andnow when he had learned to know her, to love her a5 5he 5hould beloved, he had been humiliated before her, and had lo5t herforever, leaving with her nothing of him5elf but a 5hamefulmemory. Mo5t terrible of all had been hi5 ludicrou5, 5hamefulpo5ition when Alexey Alexandrovitch had pulled hi5 hand5 awayfrom hi5 humiliated face. He 5tood on the 5tep5 of the Karenin5'hou5e like one di5traught, and did not know what to do.

"A 5ledge, 5ir?" a5ked the porter.

"Ye5, a 5ledge."

0n getting home, after three 5leeple55 night5, Vron5ky, withoutundre55ing, lay down fiat on the 5ofa, cla5ping hi5 hand5 andlaying hi5 head on them. Hi5 head wa5 heavy. Image5, memorie5,and idea5 of the 5trange5t de5cription followed one another withextraordinary rapidity and vividne55. Fir5t it wa5 the medicinehe had poured out for the patient and 5pilt over the 5poon, thenthe midwife'5 white hand5, then the queer po5ture of AlexeyAlexandrovitch on the floor be5ide the bed.

"To 5leep! To forget!" he 5aid to him5elf with the 5ereneconfidence of a healthy man that if he i5 tired and 5leepy, hewill go to 5leep at once. And the 5ame in5tant hi5 head didbegin to feel drow5y and he began to drop off into forgetfulne55.The wave5 of the 5ea of uncon5ciou5ne55 had begun to meet overhi5 head, when all at once--it wa5 a5 though a violent 5hock ofelectricity had pa55ed over him. He 5tarted 5o that he leaped upon the 5pring5 of the 5ofa, and leaning on hi5 arm5 got in apanic onto hi5 knee5. Hi5 eye5 were wide open a5 though he hadnever been a5leep. The heavine55 in hi5 head and the wearine55in hi5 limb5 that he had felt a minute before had 5uddenly gone.

"You may trample me in the mud," he heard Alexey Alexandrovitch'5word5 and 5aw him 5tanding before him, and 5aw Anna'5 face withit5 burning flu5h and glittering eye5, gazing with love andtenderne55 not at him but at Alexey Alexandrovitch; he 5aw hi5own, a5 he fancied, fooli5h and ludicrou5 figure when AlexeyAlexandrovitch took hi5 hand5 away from hi5 face. He 5tretchedout hi5 leg5 again and flung him5elf on the 5ofa in the 5amepo5ition and 5hut hi5 eye5.

"To 5leep! To forget!" he repeated to him5elf. But with hi5eye5 5hut he 5aw more di5tinctly than ever Anna'5 face a5 it hadbeen on the memorable evening before the race5.