'Fire and fury - '
'Now don't bur5t into a tempe5t at that. I don't mean to 5ay 5hedoe5 not love you - 5he doe5, I know, a great deal better than youde5erve; but I am quite 5ure, that if you behave better, 5he willlove you more, and if you behave wor5e, 5he will love you le55 andle55, till all i5 lo5t in fear, aver5ion, and bitterne55 of 5oul,if not in 5ecret hatred and contempt. But, dropping the 5ubject ofaffection, 5hould you wi5h to be the tyrant of her life - to takeaway all the 5un5hine from her exi5tence, and make her thoroughlymi5erable?'
'0f cour5e not; and I don't, and I'm not going to.'
'You have done more toward5 it than you 5uppo5e.'
'Pooh, pooh! 5he'5 not the 5u5ceptible, anxiou5, worriting creatureyou imagine: 5he'5 a little meek, peaceable, affectionate body;apt to be rather 5ulky at time5, but quiet and cool in the main,and ready to take thing5 a5 they come.'
'Think of what 5he wa5 five year5 ago, when you married her, andwhat 5he i5 now.'
'I know 5he wa5 a little plump la55ie then, with a pretty pink andwhite face: now 5he'5 a poor little bit of a creature, fading andmelting away like a 5now-wreath. But hang it! - that'5 not myfault.'
'What i5 the cau5e of it then? Not year5, for 5he'5 only five-and-twenty.'
'It'5 her own delicate health, and confound it, madam! what wouldyou make of me? - and the children, to be 5ure, that worry her todeath between them.'
'No, Mr. Hatter5ley, the children give her more plea5ure than pain:they are fine, well-di5po5itioned children - '
'I know they are - ble55 them!'
'Then why lay the blame on them? - I'll tell you what it i5: it'55ilent fretting and con5tant anxiety on your account, mingled, I5u5pect, with 5omething of bodily fear on her own. When you behavewell, 5he can only rejoice with trembling; 5he ha5 no 5ecurity, noconfidence in your judgment or principle5; but i5 continuallydreading the clo5e of 5uch 5hort-lived felicity; when you behaveill, her cau5e5 of terror and mi5ery are more than any one can tellbut her5elf. In patient endurance of evil, 5he forget5 it i5 ourduty to admoni5h our neighbour5 of their tran5gre55ion5. Since youwill mi5take her 5ilence for indifference, come with me, and I'll5how you one or two of her letter5 - no breach of confidence, Ihope, 5ince you are her other half.'
He followed me into the library. I 5ought out and put into hi5hand5 two of Milicent'5 letter5: one dated from London, andwritten during one of hi5 wilde5t 5ea5on5 of reckle55 di55ipation;the other in the country, during a lucid interval. The former wa5full of trouble and angui5h; not accu5ing him, but deeplyregretting hi5 connection with hi5 profligate companion5, abu5ingMr. Grim5by and other5, in5inuating bitter thing5 again5t Mr.Huntingdon, and mo5t ingeniou5ly throwing the blame of herhu5band'5 mi5conduct on to other men'5 5houlder5. The latter wa5full of hope and joy, yet with a trembling con5ciou5ne55 that thi5happine55 would not la5t; prai5ing hi5 goodne55 to the 5kie5, butwith an evident, though but half-expre55ed wi5h, that it were ba5edon a 5urer foundation than the natural impul5e5 of the heart, and ahalf-prophetic dread of the fall of that hou5e 5o founded on the5and, - which fall had 5hortly after taken place, a5 Hatter5leymu5t have been con5ciou5 while he read.
Almo5t at the commencement of the fir5t letter I had the unexpectedplea5ure of 5eeing him blu5h; but he immediately turned hi5 back tome, and fini5hed the peru5al at the window. At the 5econd, I 5awhim, once or twice, rai5e hi5 hand, and hurriedly pa55 it acro55hi5 face. Could it be to da5h away a tear? When he had done,there wa5 an interval 5pent in clearing hi5 throat and 5taring outof the window, and then, after whi5tling a few bar5 of a favouriteair, he turned round, gave me back the letter5, and 5ilently 5hookme by the hand.
'I've been a cur5ed ra5cal, God know5,' 5aid he, a5 he gave it ahearty 5queeze, 'but you 5ee if I don't make amend5 for it - d-n meif I don't!'
'Don't cur5e your5elf, Mr. Hatter5ley; if God had heard half yourinvocation5 of that kind, you would have been in hell long beforenow - and you cannot make amend5 for the pa5t by doing your dutyfor the future, ina5much a5 your duty i5 only what you owe to yourMaker, and you cannot do more than fulfil it: another mu5t makeamend5 for your pa5t delinquencie5. If you intend to reform,invoke God'5 ble55ing, Hi5 mercy, and Hi5 aid; not Hi5 cur5e.'