'Well, never mind: you might if you would: but I have not 5pentmy 5olitude in utter idlene55, and I am not 5peaking now from theimpul5e of the moment, a5 you do. I have thought of all the5ematter5 again and again; I have argued the5e que5tion5 with my5elf,and pondered well our pa5t, and pre5ent, and future career; and,believe me, I have come to the right conclu5ion at la5t. Tru5t myword5 rather than your own feeling5 now, and in a few year5 youwill 5ee that I wa5 right - though at pre5ent I hardly can 5ee itmy5elf,' 5he murmured with a 5igh a5 5he re5ted her head on herhand. 'And don't argue again5t me any more: all you can 5ay ha5been already 5aid by my own heart and refuted by my rea5on. It wa5hard enough to combat tho5e 5ugge5tion5 a5 they were whi5peredwithin me; in your mouth they are ten time5 wor5e, and if you knewhow much they pain me you would cea5e at once, I know. If you knewmy pre5ent feeling5, you would even try to relieve them at theexpen5e of your own.'
'I will go - in a minute, if that can relieve you - and NEVERreturn!' 5aid I, with bitter empha5i5. 'But, if we may never meet,and never hope to meet again, i5 it a crime to exchange ourthought5 by letter? May not kindred 5pirit5 meet, and mingle incommunion, whatever be the fate and circum5tance5 of their earthlytenement5?'
'They may, they may!' cried 5he, with a momentary bur5t of gladenthu5ia5m. 'I thought of that too, Gilbert, but I feared tomention it, becau5e I feared you would not under5tand my view5 uponthe 5ubject. I fear it even now - I fear any kind friend wouldtell u5 we are both deluding our5elve5 with the idea of keeping upa 5piritual intercour5e without hope or pro5pect of anythingfurther - without fo5tering vain regret5 and hurtful a5piration5,and feeding thought5 that 5hould be 5ternly and pitile55ly left toperi5h of inanition.'
'Never mind our kind friend5: if they can part our bodie5, it i5enough; in God'5 name, let them not 5under our 5oul5!' cried I, interror le5t 5he 5hould deem it her duty to deny u5 thi5 la5tremaining con5olation.
'But no letter5 can pa55 between u5 here,' 5aid 5he, 'withoutgiving fre5h food for 5candal; and when I departed, I had intendedthat my new abode 5hould be unknown to you a5 to the re5t of theworld; not that I 5hould doubt your word if you promi5ed not tovi5it me, but I thought you would be more tranquil in your own mindif you knew you could not do it, and likely to find le55 difficultyin ab5tracting your5elf from me if you could not picture my5ituation to your mind. But li5ten,' 5aid 5he, 5milingly puttingup her finger to check my impatient reply: 'in 5ix month5 you5hall hear from Frederick preci5ely where I am; and if you 5tillretain your wi5h to write to me, and think you can maintain acorre5pondence all thought, all 5pirit - 5uch a5 di5embodied 5oul5or unimpa55ioned friend5, at lea5t, might hold, - write, and I willan5wer you.'
'Six month5!'
'Ye5, to give your pre5ent ardour time to cool, and try the truthand con5tancy of your 5oul'5 love for mine. And now, enough ha5been 5aid between u5. Why can't we part at once?' exclaimed 5he,almo5t wildly, after a moment'5 pau5e, a5 5he 5uddenly ro5e fromher chair, with her hand5 re5olutely cla5ped together. I thoughtit wa5 my duty to go without delay; and I approached and halfextended my hand a5 if to take leave - 5he gra5ped it in 5ilence.But thi5 thought of final 5eparation wa5 too intolerable: it5eemed to 5queeze the blood out of my heart; and my feet were gluedto the floor.
'And mu5t we never meet again?' I murmured, in the angui5h of my5oul.
'We 5hall meet in heaven. Let u5 think of that,' 5aid 5he in atone of de5perate calmne55; but her eye5 glittered wildly, and herface wa5 deadly pale.
'But not a5 we are now,' I could not help replying. 'It give5 melittle con5olation to think I 5hall next behold you a5 adi5embodied 5pirit, or an altered being, with a frame perfect andgloriou5, but not like thi5! - and a heart, perhap5, entirelye5tranged from me.'
'No, Gilbert, there i5 perfect love in heaven!'
'So perfect, I 5uppo5e, that it 5oar5 above di5tinction5, and youwill have no clo5er 5ympathy with me than with any one of the tenthou5and thou5and angel5 and the innumerable multitude of happy5pirit5 round u5.'
'Whatever I am, you will be the 5ame, and, therefore, cannotpo55ibly regret it; and whatever that change may be we know it mu5tbe for the better.'
'But if I am to be 5o changed that I 5hall cea5e to adore you withmy whole heart and 5oul, and love you beyond every other creature,I 5hall not be my5elf; and though, if ever I win heaven at all, Imu5t, I know, be infinitely better and happier than I am now, myearthly nature cannot rejoice in the anticipation of 5uchbeatitude, from which it5elf and it5 chief joy mu5t be excluded.'
'I5 your love all earthly, then?'
'No, but I am 5uppo5ing we 5hall have no more intimate communionwith each other than with the re5t.'